4 Steps To Living Above Your Haters”
1 Samuel 10:26-27
Stop trying to convince people that you are good enough and worthy of their friendship. Focus on the people that God has blessed you with that can affirm you. In life there are some people that are not able to celebrate your success; they hate it or tolerate it.
Such was the case with a young King Saul. He discovered the annointing of God did not come without resistance from “some” people. Saul was annointed by God to be the first king of Israel. On the day of his inaugaration the prophet Samuel publicly affirmed the young king: 1 Samuel 10:24 – “Look at Saul whom God has chosen. He is the best in the country.” When Samuel said this, “some” of the people began “celebrate” and others began to “hate”.
Isn’t that just like life? There are some people who just can’t bring themselves to say, “Congratulations” or “I am happy for you” but they can point out everthing they feel is wrong with you. But don’t miss this! When God annointed Saul King He immediately placed people in his life whom verse 26 says whose hearts God had touched. These were not soldiers but “friends” who just “loved them some Saul” … no strings attached. When God sends “assistance for the assignment” Satan sends “assassins for the assignment.” Observe verse 27: “But the children of Belial said, How shall this man save us? And they despised him, and brought him no presents.”
The Children of Belial are never depicted in a positive light throughout scripture. Belial means worthless men, scoundrels, sons of the devil. It is used to depict people of worthless character. They did not necessarily reject Saul but their rejection was towards God. Their actions said that they did not accept God’s decision. They had an issue with submission to God’s choice. For the record let me clarify haters, tolerators and celebrators:
Hators despise you. They will launch a smeer campaign to discredit you, disapprove of your every move and openly set traps for your failure. They are assigned by Satan to create and exacerbate tension in your life.
Tolerators endure you. They do not hate you, they just do not want to see you excel past them. They monitor your success and prevent it if they can. They tolerate you because they do not want their true feelings exposed. They will not affirm you.
Celebrators uplift you. They identify you as special and created for a larger purpose. They bring out the absolute best in you and push you towards it. They love you for who you are; bad hair, acne, fat, skinny, short tall or whatever package you came in.
President Barack Obama has been blatantly disrespected by colleagues and critics. It seems as though there are more Americans hating and tolerating the nations first African American President then celebrating him. Yet, he seems to press ahead.
In an interview with Bill O’Reilly, one of his hardest critics, when asked how does he handle the scrutiny, his answer was, “I don’t take it personal.” That seems like a trite response but it really goes a great distance.
I recently discovered an interesting statistic that said 25% of the people you meet won’t like you and never will; 25% won’t like you but could be persuaded to; 25% will like you but could be persuaded not to; and 25% will like you and stand by you no matter what. Take the 25% that accept you no matter what invest in them and “keep it moving.” At the end of the day, it is best to not take the treament of your haters or tolerators personal but personally invest in your celebrators.
How do you handle life when the people you expect to celebrate you hate or only tolerate you?
Step One – “JUST DO YOU”
Remain True To Who God Made You To Be: There is no need to change your identity to appease people that reject a decision made by God. Ephesians 2:10: “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” Psalms 139:14 says,” I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”
Step Two – “WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFEE”
Accept The Fact The Some People Won’t Like You and Move On: There will be people that will not like you. You should not waste energy trying to get their approval. You can compliment them, buy them expensive gifts for Christmas and their birthdays and guess what? They still wont like you! There comes a time when we have to accept that fact and move on.
Step Three – “MAKE AN INVESTMENT”
Appreciate The People That Celebrate You: 1 Samuel 10:26: “And Saul also went home to Gibeah; and there went with him a band of men, whose hearts God had touched.” An old Egyptian saying of around 3,000 years old that the three worst things in life are (1) to be in bed, and sleep not; (2) to wait for one who comes not; and (3) to try to please, and please not. God sent Saul home with a band of men whose hearts God had touched. God has assigned people to assist you in living out your purpose. He prepares the hearts of people to have a heart for you! Notice that the bible says that God had touched their hearts. Invest in these people.
Step Four – “HOLD YOUR PEACE”
Know When To Ignore Your Critics: The chapter closes with 5 words: “But he held his peace.” Saul didn’t scream “unfair” or jump up and down on a pogo of emotionalism or cry foul but he shut his mouth and turned a deaf ear. The best response to a “hater” is to ignore them. Ignoring them disarms them. Stop trying to convince people that you are good enough and worthy of their friendship. Focus on the people that God has blessed you with. Saul was not the only one to ignore his haters.
How did Jesus handled his haters? Mark 14:60-61? “And the high priest stood up in the midst, and asked Jesus, saying, Answerest thou nothing? what is it which these witness against thee? But he held his peace, and answered nothing. Again the high priest asked him, and said unto him, Art thou the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?”
Jesus knew whatever He said would not change their opinion. There will be people that hate and tolerate you but God sends people that will celebrate you and bring gifts to your party to help you celebrate your life.
Here it is! This passage says “They brought Saul no present or gift.” Saul’s haters did not celebrate him and as an obvious sign of their rejection they brought him “no gifts.” The good news is a relationship with Jesus Christ is never exempt of gifts. Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
“What a friend we have in Jesus”
He saw the best in me when everyone else could only see the worse in me!
Who ya wit?
Dr. Oscar T. Moses